Bleek Gilliam

seldom i find the time to pull out the pen anymore
i don't know why and i don't have some profound reason
to present to you that's just how it is and how it's been

i'm still trying to figure out when it happened and whether
or not i was trying to chase an orgasm to feel better about
sitting in my bed and not having anything to do

an awkward situation of an older brother finding out her
sister is a slut and now i can't look at darling nikki the same
anymore because her vulnerability hits a little too close to home

i wonder how it is for first time killers who didn't have a choice
watch your mother go hungry and a person's capable of doing
anything 

especially when you're the one who's supposed to be
comforted to sleep not the one doing the comforting.yourhandsjustaren'tsoftenough

2 a.m. (B Minor)

it's been more than ten days and a new year has passed and it's one of those things that just isn't usually done by someone so addicted to having some type fine powder to sniff when there's nothing on tv to watch

no need to worry i come with expressions of goodwill and whiskey just in case you need a promise that you won't have to remember what we did or how much fun we had when we see each other at the same coffee shop by coincidence and you haven't been able to forgive me yet

maybe i'm a little vague with how i show my feelings to you but it just isn't as exciting as to when you've got a knife in your hand and a tight red dress with heels on i thrive in the confusion of not knowing whether or not i should keep my hands up or pull my pants down

don't tell anybody else if it's that obvious i'm just trying to have it like it was in high school where i wasn't making fun of people still knowing how to have fun in innocent ways that doesn't put me in situations where i'm short two quarters to my next pack of cigarettes and the comfort of knowing that all i have to do is strike a match

that isn't how it should be but my ego fears you not appreciating how i can still enjoy a bowl of cereal and a trip to the grocery store without having to seem like i intend on cooking dinner later that night

maybe i just like the jazz that plays in the back of my head watching you put things in the cart because i love everything you pick and all the things you intend on doing with those things of course you'll never know or i'll never be able to make you feel just the slightest bit of insecurity to ensure that everytime our favorite groove plays the first thing you'll be doing is seeing how i react