I'm not one to put the details of my trials and tribulations at home
on public display, but basically I've become the usual scapegoat for
every degree of struggle that my parental units experience. But to be
truthfully honest, I understand. The mischief I've gotten into over the
years has caused a great degree of mayhem within our household,
and I understand if my parents are spiteful. The thing that pains me
is there constant judgment of me as a failure or some type of burden
to their sanity. The way we view how a successful outcome of life
could not conflict anymore greatly. They constantly impose this idea
that I do not understand them and have no care for there well being. But
irony of the situation is that though our ideals may conlfict, I actually
do understand them, but because I don't obey them, they impose
onto me that I don't understand them. Understanding and obedience
are two totally seperate things. I actually just want to be understood.
But unfortunately, I may never be understood by them, because the way
I view the world is unfortunately way beyond their traditional colonial Filipino
rationale. Hopefully, in time I can find a balance between fulfilling the prophecies
that they have for me, and fulfilling the hopes and goals that I have for myself.
Maybe I should threaten my parents with possible outcomes that may occur
if they fuck me up in the head too much...
...Nam'sayin?
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