disillusioned steps around college campuses

Max Julien

midnight park benches wet with dew and cum from runaways who found a friend
sat there trying to find the right thing to pretend to be and decided it would be easier to ask questions hoping she decides to at least undo a button
what's your favorite flavor of ice cream? who do you think is going to win the election? will you be the one to save me?
his subtle intention to see if she shaves her pubic hair has been forgotten ever since he thought he saw momma walk by
now her breasts is provoking a cocaine craving for cereal bowls of milk with powder on the table
mama always knew how to keep up in the morning so he wouldn't be late to school
never late to school so mama would have enough time to make sure she felt nothing when papa came home and watched pretty tony jive about why he should make her sing and scream

Freddie Freeloader

contemplating whether or not

to ask the girl in the

hat worn to seem mysterious 

if she likes bebop

it's too late i caught a glimpse 

of what she likes to fill her

cup up with & it's making me consider finally cleaning

my room

i don't have a plan 

for if i find out the person she looked

up to was a whore 

reminders of my fear of pissing in toilets

with shit in it already

we should meet somewhere in the dark 

so i don't have

to worry about her going home 

because i wore the wrong shoes

or maybe i should stay right here 

and pretend i still enjoy

this coffee and how well it goes with my last few cigarettes

i wish i could just ask her if i can only love her without having to

introduce myself

sky blue gray and i haven't went yet because there's shit in that one

contemplating

Blue Velvet

lady luck gets drunk with her cousins on Thursday nights walking
amongst city lights giving clues about what fabric their panties are
and what type of gun cool cats need to use if they want to get them off

fill my cup up with broken bones because lost souls are going out of
style but don't worry I'll stay true to the hat you bought me last year

show me what a good father wears bring me to a library where people aren't just trying to get out of the rain 

call me when i ask you to and not just because i was nice enough to not kill your mother

it's going to take more than a glass of wine for me to confess about
how it was when the priest put his hand on my knee

my girlfriends a catholic and wants me to memorize a couple pages
before she allows me to go through her medicine cabinet

I just need to make sure i nail my close up before she allows me to make it painless

waking up to the window closed and no known name yet for her

and the panties she left on my bathroom floor

The Hours

what is it that's keeping you and me away from each other
     you thought it was that girls jeans, 

    i thought it was cause your

mother never told you she loved you 

for trying so hard to become

a jazz singer… 

or, is it just that jazz and soul 

distract’s you and I 

from being able to take our clothes off 

  just let marvin influence

the motion’s in our advance 

& the groove within how we step into

the diner 

you showed me how your grandmother 

taught you
how to stir your coffee 

& how many tablespoons of (preferably BROWN) sugar 

to make it perfect

         so tearful

of me to realize i'm what inspired 

you to light your cigarette 

how heartbreaking it would be to you 

if I confessed how the scent of Ella's hair 

directed the stutter in how i hugged you 

please forgive me 

sweet no need for
lipstick 

i'll

 call you when i get home and won't hang up until i know

 you've fallen
asleep… peacefully

Sophie's Choice

I remember the smell of teen spirit when I figured out the meaning
of life and had no one to share it with to rejoice in the jazz and guitars
that guide the direction of what we are and ideas of love all come together
for small instances and destruct again with no recollection of the how hills seemed
to me and you and how it would of been to her if she was there to witness
the first time you felt the need to be in the protection of your father and the
comedy that comes along with it i can't go back now i just let it guide itself to
a direction where it will end up on the grand stage to have that very moment
where the memory and eventual creation of all great things come together for
this very moment where I finally choose to let the song play and maestro finally
introduces the beautiful lady who will introduce me and I introduce to all of you
this very moment where we all feel together no need to justify it in books or pictures
or even love letters though excuse if I choose to do all those because it's what makes
this moment all the more better funnier when we're discussing it over our favorite
town pancakes i recall the days roaming through Filmore trying to understand why
anyone would choose to sleep on the ground until we felt it for ourselves and made love
and sang songs and then warmed under the same blanket i can carry on now because
i was able to stay warm throughout the night thank you brother and sister and lover and
killer i don't ignore that you're still alive and you're still there perhaps if i treat you kindly
you woulnd't be as mean to me and the people I know as you've been to Foxy Brown
and John Somename they didn't deserve the shame of having to bury an old friend cool
cat that influenced you and how you tied your shoes the way you do and stride through San Francisco lights trying succeed the idea of love through the way you light your cigarette and ask the prettiest thing in sight if they would like the idea of sharing a bowl of ice cream come with me
my beatiful dearest and take your lipstick off because there's no need to pretend anymore that we're both just trying to find a way to get each other naked and show each other our ideas of how to make it feel good

Peace to the beauty of Ruby Dee